I know 2020 was a difficult year for many and I don’t want to make light of any challenges any of you have had. A simple jar, however, helped me stay positive through some of the ups and downs.
It’s a gratitude jar. From time to time I wrote down something I felt grateful about on a slip of paper and popped it in the jar. I started this just before 2020 and yesterday my wife and I emptied it out and read through them all. It reminded us of how many wonderful experiences we’d had, some of them very simple like the Spring flowers, and some of the kindness we’d experienced.
I have plenty of days where things don’t go right and I’m sure you have as well.
One sure way I’ve found to quickly feel more positive is listing what I’m grateful for. It can be anything at all – being alive, the food I eat, my friends, my partner, having an umbrella in the rain.
It doesn’t matter what it is or where you are. If I’m walking, I use my fingers to list five to ten things I’m grateful for and it immediately shifts me into a feeling of love and thankfulness. And I’m not the only one who has found this to be true.
Being grateful is one of the five precepts, Mikao Usui, the founder of Reiki, considered key to living a spiritual life. Now science, in the form of Positive psychology, has become interested in gratitude because people who practise it measurably improve their lives. There’s over two decades of research suggesting that people who regularly feel grateful:
- report better health, reduce their risk of heart disease, and get better sleep
- strengthen feelings of connection and satisfaction in their relationships
- feel more satisfied with their lives, more joy and optimism, and less anxiety.
Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude, explains that it benefits our mental, physical, and social health because “it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received.” What’s more, he says when we experience gratitude, “we acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.” Gratitude strengthens our relationships, he says, “because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.” In short, it magnifies the impact of our positive feelings and experiences.
It is impossible to be resentful or envious at the same time as you are feeling grateful. Gratitude blocks toxic, negative emotions, such as envy, resentment, and regret that can destroy our happiness. There’s evidence showing it can help reduce depression.
I, personally, know how life changing it can be. One of my spiritual mentors asked me to keep a gratitude journal. Every day I had to write 10 new things in it I was grateful for.
It quickly became apparent how much I took for granted. I’m surrounded by what another age might consider miracles – the sun rising, my mobile phone, being able to fly, decent dentistry – so I saw how petty most of my grievances were.
Of course, it’s easy to be grateful for the ‘good’ things like a pay rise or falling in love. But adding ten additional items on my gratitude list every day meant I learnt to be grateful for the trickier situations. No, I’m not grateful I have lost people who I loved, though I accept they are in a better place. I am grateful that as a result I’m more compassionate than I was before and for all the lessons I may not have learnt any other way. Being grateful for the lessons that come my way every day has speeded up my development.
Exercise – make a gratitude jar, list or journal. Every day write five things you are grateful for. And if you find yourself grumpy, depressed or in a ‘bad’ mood think of five to ten blessings you have now and see what happens to your emotional state.
More information
thnx4.org – this is an online gratitude journal site you can use
Is Gratitude Good for Your Health? (berkeley.edu)
Why Gratitude Is Good | Greater Good (berkeley.edu)
Why gratitude is good for us – and five ways to practise it this winter – Positive News
