A little over a year ago, a friend of mine looked at me, as I was semi-complaining about how much I had going on in my life, and said, “Christy, we’re all busy.” Recently, my husband and I both forgot our 13thwedding anniversary! How do we forget something as important as the day we committed ourselves to each other and this life we have created together? Well, the truth is we are busy!
I have a lot going on, as I’m sure many of you do. Also, it’s important to me that I give my love and attention to whoever I am with or whatever it is I am working on. In that moment I was complaining to my friend, I had been, constantly, feeling that I was needed everywhere all the time. I felt like I wasn’t balancing my priorities, let alone any other aspect of my life.
Now, I know a lot of people would give advice to start saying “no” to some obligations. As many of you know, it’s not often practical to say, “no.” Whose dear friend’s birthday are you saying no to? Are you telling your children no when they need help with homework or want a story? Or telling your boss no when she’s overwhelmed and needs help? Probably not! Yet, here I am, a year and a half later and life is much more balanced and manageable. So, what changed?
When my friend reminded me that we are all busy, I took that as an opportunity to start replacing the word “busy” with “abundant.” It was with humor when I started saying it, but I soon found myself noticing how often I was saying or thinking the word “busy,” and resenting my busyness, which translated into resenting my life. I didn’t want to waste any more time resenting the time I put into an amazing life.
Finding balance came down to two things, being present and having gratitude. What I’ve learned is to use them together as tools to help me refocus when my thoughts start to run a mile a minute. I chose a path full of people and responsibilities and I came to realize I’m not enjoying this path when I’m not present with those people and responsibilities. If I simply stop moving for a minute and look around me, I can find what I am grateful for in the moment I am in. This slows my mind down and places me back into what I am doing right now.
Often, we are trapped in some thought from our past, or if you are like me, caught up in some worry about tomorrow. No matter how difficult the past, future, or even present worry, there is usually someone or some feeling you can be connected to and grateful for. So, enjoy your five-minute dinner with loved ones before you all go to your different activities, enjoy being able to pay a bill or buy groceries, love that person who is holding your hand while you cry. When you can start to do that, your view on your life can change from overwhelmingly busy to abundant and you are more directly on the road to a balanced life.
