Personal Growth is Not for Wimps
“You teach personal growth? Isn’t that self-indulgent and superficial?” This is the reaction I sometimes get when I answer the question “so what do you do?” at a gathering where personal growth work is not the norm. Nothing could be farther from the truth when one is seriously on a path of personal understanding and spiritual growth! But it can be difficult to explain in just a few words how much self-examination is required for someone who embarks on the personal growth journey with a strong desire to truly know him or herself.
This path requires one to become increasingly aware of the power of thoughts, take responsibility for actions and reactions rather than blaming someone else, accept the unloving behaviors and thoughts, understand how the ego and the unconscious mind sabotage you, release anger, and practice forgiveness. Does this sound like a path for wimps?
The first step along this path is usually discovering that thoughts are things and that your thoughts are always manifesting! I once thought, very strongly, about a student assistant job I wanted in grad school. I was too shy to actually apply, but the professor ended up offering me the position! He actually thought I’d told him I wanted the job, but I knew I hadn’t. That sent me on a quest to find out how and why this had happened. I discovered a book, Seth Speaks, which described how we create our reality. Although the concepts in the book were foreign to my upbringing, they resonated with me. I wanted to know more and began devouring books on personal growth.
As you become aware of how negative your thoughts usually are throughout the day, this revelation can feel appalling and overwhelming! (“No wonder I have financial issues. I am always saying I don’t have enough money, No wonder I don’t have a relationship. I am always saying there are no good men!”) The task of constantly monitoring your mind and changing thoughts can seem daunting. It is actually a life long task.
Once aware of the negative thoughts, you learn to use affirmations to consciously change the negative thoughts. In the beginning, it may seem like too great a leap to go from “I never have enough money” to “I have plenty.” You can start with affirmations that you can accept-“My bank account is constantly increasing” or “I gratefully accept new sources of income.”
A next step is learning to quiet the mind. Daily meditation can be a wonderful practice for quieting the mind. Regular meditation trains the monkey mind to relax and focus. It is ultimately a spiritual practice with the goal of connecting you more fully to the Source that is within you. Connection with Source helps to more easily release past patterns and accept the good you deserve.
Millions of beliefs exist in the unconscious mind, and these unconscious beliefs are the driving force in our lives. You don’t need to feel guilty about negative things that have happened in your life. Guilt doesn’t help you. What does help is understanding the beliefs that created the situations in the first place. You accept responsibility for what you have created and for what you want to create. As a child, if you learned that relationships were difficult and abusive, it’s likely you attracted that kind of relationship as an adult. Once you are aware of the pattern, you can change your beliefs and attract a loving relationship. This may not happen overnight, but if you set an intention to release the past and welcome a loving relationship you will be guided to all the resources and insights you need. When you discover an old belief that needs to be changed you have found a treasure!
Being emotionally honest with yourself is a vital part of personal growth. Most of us would like to ignore the unloving thoughts we have, the rough edges of our personality, and the emotions of anger and guilt. Yet facing these and loving ourselves anyway frees an enormous amount of energy for truly expressing our unique gifts. I often tell participants in our training workshops – you don’t need to be perfect to be an effective teacher, you need to be authentic!
Finally, there is the F word – forgiveness. Forgiveness of others and yourself is ongoing. We tend to think of the need for forgiveness with the “big” issues of betrayal and abuse. Those certainly can be the most challenging, but situations that create even minor annoyance require forgiveness. When forgiveness is difficult, begin with “I am willing to forgive.” Your willingness begins the process. A Course in Miracles tells us that forgiveness is the key to happiness. What an incentive for practicing forgiveness!
The path of personal growth is truly a courageous path. As you continue along this path, remember to love and approve of yourself at every step. Practice being conscious of your reactions and emotions.
Be willing to forgive. And finally, be grateful for the situations and people who have guided you to this path of growth.
Patricia J. Crane, Ph.D., is the author of Ordering from the Cosmic Kitchen, available as a kindle and in paperback. With husband Rick Nichols she leads Heal Your Life® training programs in Louise Hay’s philosophy. You can view their videos at www.youtube.com/healyourlife or go to www.healyourlifetraining.com for more information.
