| Many of us feel we are being called to practice peace and unconditional love as much as possible, realizing how much our personal contribution impacts the planet – and exponentially improves our own health – physically, emotionally and spiritually.
But what happens when we are disturbed by someone in our life? In this world of duality, we are inevitably presented with people that challenge us. Focusing on the problem can agitate us and actually exacerbate the issue. So what are we to do? How are we to handle these stressors without unraveling the harmony and balance we have worked so intentionally to create? And if they have really hurt us, does unconditional love mean we give them another chance?
First, we want to understand that relationships either mirror back to us a behavior we ourselves practice or a belief we hold. In other words, there is something to learn! Next, we need to set boundaries. How do you want to be treated? How do you want your relationships to feel? These are your internal rules, commonly referred to as “boundaries.” Last, the most powerful thing is always going to be to send them love.
A friend made a negative comment on an inspirational Facebook post I had written. The comment surprised and disappointed me. Though I thought she had greater respect for our friendship, in the past I had seen “red flags.” However, it seemed easier to let that stuff go rather than address it and be uncomfortable. My first action, after deleting her comment, was to journal. (A little reflection goes a long way.) I’m a strong advocate for working things out unapologetically in your journal. Say exactly what comes up about whoever/whatever you’re annoyed with – curse words and everything – until you have nothing more. Go back over it later to pick out the points that stick out to you. This process alone can cause change within the person or situation because it changes what you are giving out.
After clearing out the pent-up hurt and anger on paper, I was able to see why this was an issue for me, and ask myself the most important question -” WWLD – What would love do?” (I bet you thought I was going to say “What would Louise do?”) Remembering to ask this from a self-love perspective is essential if we are to honor ourselves. I knew that if I simply forgave and opened my doors to this person without taking some time, I would not have sent a clear message to the Universe regarding how I want to be treated. I couldn’t do that, but I could send her love. With new clarity, I was able to communicate that my friends and I share a sacred relationship – we support each other, lift each other up, and always assume positive intent.
What if you determine that you need to have a one-on-one with the person but are feeling squeamish? I recommend reaching out to a coach for assistance. Also, Cheryl Richardson is a really good resource if you want some guidance planning your conversations. Practice the conversation in your mind, or even in the mirror!
Remember, you have the most powerful tool with you at all times, the ability to send love. Do that with me now – close your eyes, take some deep breaths, visualize the person with a smile on their face, and send love from your heart to theirs.
Alyssa Martin: Alyssa is a Heal Your Life ® Workshop Leader & Coach, Singer, Reiki Master, and creator of Buddha Om Board ©. Alyssa has transformed her life using the techniques she teaches & is ready to lovingly guide you in creating inner peace, fun and authenticity in your life. Website:www.AlyssaOm.com |
